For a while, I wandered in the desert of infinity
I thought about truth and the meaning of divinity
I went home to twist leaves and dream of meat-eating orchids
To ponder my disorders and why my life is so distorted
In the depths of my mind I fear a dreaded force
A system of order that kills all at the end of its course
I'll warn you to keep an eye out for this man with no name
But asking for help against him is stupid and insane
Evade those fools who hide away in the woods
They hide behind trees and mask their faces with hoods
They head for the hills when his eyes on the campfire glow
And he creeps up in like a white wolf hiding in snow
Run for the hills now, pick up speed and let's go
Hold on tight, hold on tight now, you're too slow
Now quickly before death put all your eggs in that basket
I'll just keep mine in my pockets until I'm laid in a casket
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Thanks for the input! This was actually a poem I had to write for school, and I thought it would be funny to intertwine lots of inappropriate innuendos (I attended a Christian school). Examples being the twisting of leaves (rolling joints), dreaming of meat-eating orchids (ahem...the female reproductive system), etc.
Just out of curiosity, what do you interpret as the main idea behind the poem? I love to know how people perceive my work in their own way. It's one of my favorite things about creating art.
I very much liked this poem, it had a lot of very interesing imagery and I thought the rhyming couplets set off a whismical apect of the topic that was very good for the overall mood of the poem. I do see a couple aeras it could be improve (and I have a reputaion to be nit-picky). Instead of meat-eating I think one word like "Carniverous" could have worked. There were a couple times when some lines seemed a little too long like
I'll warn you to keep an eye out for this man with no name
But asking for help against him is stupid and insane
Evade those fools who hide away in the woods
They hide behind trees and mask their faces with hoods
These lines seemed a little akward for me and I think they wthrew off the flow off the poem and made it seem a little choppy. But overall I like your ideads and I think you have the right point of view to be a very good writer! Keep it up!